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Surviving Breast Cancer with a spouse. This is the second time my wife has had to battle with Cancer. After her lung cancer (that she defeated and has been clean for over 10 years). Now here we go again. She has been diagnosed with Breast Cancer.

A little background for those that haven’t followed along with my blog. My wife was diagnosed with lung cancer about 10 years ago. Had surgery to remove the cancer. And luckily (because it was detected early) The doctors were able to remove it all. And it hasn’t come back. If you haven’t read that blog and would care to. You can find it HERE.

Surviving Breast Cancer

Our Story:

Once we found out that she had breast cancer. We went into defense mode. We were determined to beat this. Just as we did before. Our children were grown and out of school. So that made it a little easier. Not having to think about who was going to take care of them. While we were at the doctors and the hospital. Provided a little less stress.

We stayed upbeat. Read our material. And stayed up to date with all that was going on. She only had it in her left breast at this point. So it was going to be an out patient procedure. But first she would have to do Chemo therapy. In the hopes of shrinking the mass down.

Time For Chemo:

Chemo was being used in her case. To try and shrink the mass down. And unlike most cases you here about. Her’s wasn’t that bad. Mainly due to the fact that they gave her Neulasta. They would attach it to her after her treatment. And it would inject into her 24 hours after the treatment. I highly recommend it. She didn’t have any sickness associated with chemo.

She had numerous treatments. But long story short. It only was able to shrink it down minimally. So pretty much the mass was still the same size. It was time to move on and have the surgery. Rather then just trying to shrink it with chemo.

Day of The Surgery:

The day came for the surgery. We went to the hospital. She was all ready to go. The doctor came in and told us the procedure. Which was to go in. Cut out the mass. And a little of the lymph nodes. Hoping that would get it all. Sounded great. Then she would come back to the room. Wake up and go home. Pretty simple.

After the surgery. The doctor came in. Told me everything had gone according to plan. That she did have some excessive bleeding. So he used some coagulant to help stop that. Sowed her up and she should be back in the room shortly.

Surprise, Surprise!

When I got back to the room. The nurses looked a little panicked. And when they moved away. I could see why. The surgery they had done on her left boob. Had swollen to the size of a bowling ball. In just minutes. It was huge to say the least. The nurses were rushing to call the doctor back. But my wife was laying there laughing. She made the comment. If you ever wanted big boobs. Well he you go.

The doctor finally came back. But in the meantime the nurses had literally put sand bags on her boob (yes I said sandbags). To keep it from swelling any more and rupture. The doctor immediately took her back to surgery. Opened her up again. Took out some of the coagulant. And sewed her back up again. That all happened in about 20 minutes or so. And the doctor said she would need to stay for a couple of hours. Just to be safe. And then she can go home.

Once she got back to the room and woke up. There was quite a commotion. We were in the room laughing and joking with some of the nurses. About what happened. And how she had gotten so large in just minutes. She was the star attraction. All the nurses on the floor seemed to want to come in and visit her. Now we know that this is probably no laughing matter.

But through all the turmoil and anxiety of this. We have always tried to stay lighthearted, upbeat,and take each day as it comes. There is no reason to get down and depressed (in our opinion). That just makes things worse. To this day we still have a good laugh about it now and then.

Time to Go Home:

Surviving Breast Cancer. It’s time to go home. And once we got home it was just a matter of making her comfortable. They sent her home with medication for the pain and infection. And also to help her sleep. I was in charge of getting all the chores done. While she was recovering. Each day she would get stronger and stronger. We changed her bandage each day as we were instructed.

After the surgery. Next came the radiation. She had to wait 3 weeks. And then the process of 33 radiation treatments. Within a 2 month period. We decided to take a vacation after her radiation. Near the end of the vacation. She noticed that something was wrong. It didn’t look right. We decided that she should go back to the nurse when we got back home to be checked out.

Not Healing Properly:

As she suspected. The wound wasn’t closing and getting better. So after seeing the nurse. She opened her wound back up. Drained it. And started her on I.V. antibiotics. Within 10 days the boob blew up. The nurse couldn’t figure out why this would occur. She sent her to see a wound specialist at the hospital. They packed the wound. And she was told to come back every 3 days. That is when they put a wound vac on it. They would repack the wound each time.

Finally things seemed to start working. But it was a long and slow process. There was even talk of putting her in a hyper-barrack chamber to speed up the process. Her being claustrophobic. She said no.

More Bad News:

As most people know. After a surgery (especially cancer). There are always follow up exams. In her case a M.R.I and a breast exam. Both were bad. The M.R.I. Showed a mass in her uterus. And the breast exam showed a small mass in her other breast. We just can’t seem to catch a break. This brought her to tears. Up to this point. We had been able to deal with everything they through at us. Always staying positive.

But this cut deep with her. All sorts of things were running through her head. One being. Will she ever get rid of her cancer. It just keep popping up in different places. Now granted. Each cancer is different. Every time it seems that we have gotten rid of it (like the lung cancer). It appears somewhere else. Now I have to say that those thoughts were in my head to. But I had to be strong for her.

The first three nights after getting the news. She was shedding a lot of tears. And a little depressed. So all I could do is hold her and reassure her. That everything was going to be alright. Just another battle to fight and win.

The Decision- What to Do!!!

After a few days had passed. We were out on the patio one night. And we just let everything out. She was worried (for some odd reason). That I wouldn’t love her anymore. I assured her that was the furthest thing from the truth. Deep down she knew that. And later I found out that a breast cancer group that she belongs to. Had some pretty bad stories of how husbands would leave their wives because of this. That’s pretty shallow if you ask me.

I told her that isn’t who I am. No way. No How. And told her we needed to discuss what we were going to do next. I poured us a glass of wine. Which by the way has been proven to help with cancer. Especially Red Wine.

And over the next few hours. We went through the good and bad. Of what we should do. We knew the surgery was necessary. That wasn’t the issue. The issue was if she should just have the mass removed and keep the breast. As she did on the right side. Bare in mind the right side is still not healed completely. In the end it came down to three things.

• How would I feel if she didn’t have any breasts? This was a no brainer. If she has them or not. I’m not going anywhere. And will love her just the same.
• Does she want to go through chemo again? She toyed with this one a little. If she was going to save the breast then yes. If not then No.
• Do two separate surgeries or just one? This was the toughest. Because having both surgeries at once. Has a lot of risk with it. Main one being the amount of time under anesthesia. We were looking at probably a 4 to 5 hour surgery.

We Weighed the Options:

I explained to her how I was thinking. And she told me what she was thinking. In the end it was her body. She had to decide what she wanted to do. We went in and met with the doctors. And decided. We would do both surgeries simultaneously. The doctors explained the high risks with doing both. But she was willing to take the risk. With one extra twist. She also wanted the other breast removed at the same time.

That created more risk. According to the doctors. Because that would add more time under sedation and more risk of infection. But like she said. The other breast is taking so long to heal. She was tired of messing with it. She just wanted everything cut off so she could go on with her life.

The Doctors Come Up With A Plan

The surgeon/doctors. Told her that they would have to develop a plan together. So as to do a good job quickly and sufficiently. And keep her out of danger from the sedation. They would work up a plan to see if it was doable. And get back with us in a couple of days.

The days passed and our meeting with the doctors had come. Both doctors felt that they could come in under the wire of what they felt to be dangerous. Provided there were no unforeseen complications. We were given the procedure and the time frame they were looking at. So I knew how long it should take. The surgery for the uterus will go first. And then the breast removal surgery.

The Dangerous Surgery:

The day is here. We are both scared. Not so much with the surgery. But the time frame needed to get it done. If anything goes wrong. Her life could be in danger. The uterus surgery will go first. We are at the hospital and now are just waiting for them to come take her down to surgery. They arrive and I gave her a big kiss. And told her everything is going to be alright. And I’ll see her when she gets done.

Now I have to wait. That is the hardest part. I try to occupy myself in the waiting area. By watching T.V. And reading. The time of the first surgery to be done is getting close. I’m watching the clock. The time has passed from when she was supposed to be done. And the doctor still hasn’t come to talk to me. Now we are 30 minutes late. Now 45 minutes late.

Finally the doctor shows up. And I’m sure I’ve grown a few more grey hairs. It’s been an hour late. She explains to me that she had been in the holding area for a longer time then was expected. So everything is still on time. Her part of the surgery went well. Now they are cleaning up the room . And then they will start the second part of the surgery. Which should be in about 15 minutes. I marked the time. At the same time breathing a sigh of relief.

The second Surgery Begins

The second surgery has started according to the time frame I was given earlier. Let me say. If you have ever sat in the waiting area at the hospital. It can be nerve racking. I have been here since early morning. When I cam in here there were 4 people. They are since gone. Had about a dozen people earlier. And they are gone. I am the only one still here. Even the call nurse on duty is gone and a new one is here. It is mid afternoon. Again by my calculations. The time to be done is approaching.

Still nothing. My nerves are about shot. I start to walk the halls. I can’t sit anymore. Time has passed again. And now I am really worried. The 4 hour surgery has turned into 5. We have reached the danger zone. By my calculations. I keep watching the clock. Another 30 minutes go by. Now I am praying that everything is going to be alright. Another 30 minutes. Finally the doctor comes to talk to me.

The doctor says the surgery went great. That it took longer then he expected. And because of that he stayed in the recovery room with her for awhile. Until she was starting to wake up and her vitals were good. He apologized for not letting me know sooner. I told him that as long as she is alright. I can deal with the anxiety. What a relief. She was going to be fine. And for the most part. The surgeries went as planned.

Recovery and More Complications:

After the surgeries. And talking to the doctors. I felt relieved. She was going to be in recovery for awhile. And they let me know what room she would be in. Feeling relieved and now hungry. I decided to go down and grab a bite to eat. By then she should be in the room. Had my sandwich. Made my calls to everybody to let them know she was fine. Then headed up to the room. Just in time. They had just brought her up.

She was still a little groggy. But coherent. We talked for awhile. And I filled her in with what the doctors said. Anything I missed they will be up in the morning. We watched a little T.V. And then she insisted I go home to get some rest. I had to work in the morning. But reluctantly I agreed. Since she was falling asleep any way.

The next day.

I called into work to let them know I wouldn’t be in. For some reason. I had a feeling that something wasn’t right. And headed to the hospital.

Upon my arrival she was still sleeping. But starting to wake up. For someone that had slept all night. She looked unusually tired. She said she was fine. Later when the doctor came in. I found out why she looked tired. During the night. Because of the long surgery. Blood clots had formed in her lungs. And she couldn’t breathe. Luckily, The medication and oxygen worked quickly. I was mad at her for not letting them call me. But not to upset her I just said ok.

The doctor said that she would be on blood thinner medication for the blood clots. And they should just absorb into the body eventually. Thank God. Things might be starting to look up for us. Spent the rest of the day with her. And along with all of her visitors. We were able to have a pretty good day. A little laughter, conversation. And of course some hugs and kisses. A couple more days here. And she will be coming home.

Finally Going Home:

The day is finally here. Time to go home. Still sore from the surgeries of course. But ready to go home. We got her medications. I got the car. And away we went.

The doctor visits. For the surgeries. Went well. Everything looks good and is progressing nicely. Unless she has any problems she is good to go. Next the visit to the cancer doctor. The visit was ok. And as he told us. Once you have cancer like hers. There is a chance for it to come back again somewhere else. So she will have to take a cancer pill for at least 5 years. And maybe longer. That right now is a small price to pay to keep it away. She is a special lady. And I hope to have her in my life for the rest of my life. I truly cherish her. We are now on year 4 since the breast cancer. And I am happy to say. That it has not come back. And as of now is cancer free.

In Closing:

Surviving Breast Cancer is tough. What we practice and did. Is to stay positive. Upbeat and supportive of each other. Us as guys need to give them our love and understanding throughout the whole process. Be involved in the process. Know what’s going on in her life. That woman is the one you swore to honor and obey in sickness and in health for the rest of your life. You need to be that man.

My wife is one that doesn’t like to take a lot of medications. So she uses alternative medicines instead to relieve the pain and relax. I’ve included a link in here if you would like to check it out.

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