Cancer of a Spouse. Can and usually is one of the hardest things you will ever have to face. After all they are your soul mate. The one you swore to protect and love for the rest of your life. Sometimes it can make you feel helpless.
Dealing with Cancer of a spouse in my case was especially difficult. I felt emotionally drained a lot of nights. Watching her suffer everyday and wishing you could just take it all away. It can leave you depressed. But, you know you have to stay strong and upbeat, (even though you might be hurting inside) for her.
My Story:
It all started roughly 10 years ago. My wife was having trouble breathing. Being stubborn like she can be. She just wanted to wait for it to pass. It’s just a cold she said. After a couple more days. I insisted that she make an appointment to see the doctor. She was able to get in the next day. The doctor checked her out. Took blood and all the other normal tests they do. With one exception. When listening to her lungs. They decided to send her for an M.R.I. Just to be safe.And to make sure there weren’t any problems with her lungs.
Well the day came for the M.R.I. And as suspected. There was. They found an in-normality in her lower right lung. Now of course they want to do a biopsy to make sure. Even though the news was not all that great. We stayed upbeat hoping for the best. They did the biopsy. And if any of you have ever had one. It can be painful. They stick a tube in,(in this case in her right side right below the ribs). And then go through the tube and take a small piece to check for Cancer.
Now as I go on with this story. Keep in mind that this was 10 years ago. And the way they do things now has changed dramatically since then.
It’s Lung Cancer
The test came back positive for Cancer. Panic sets in. After talking with the doctors and surgeons. They were confident they could do surgery and get it all. And hopefully that would be the end of it. So again we stayed upbeat and positive. We looked ahead to the surgery and prepared ourselves for everything that could happen. We were ready to meet this head on.
Lung Surgery Day!!
The day of the surgery had come. We were sitting in the hospital room. Telling jokes and having a lighthearted conversation. We knew and believed. That everything was going to be fine.
The surgery went well. And just as expected. They got it all. Everything was going well. Except the recovery. Back when she had her surgery. Recovery was tough. When they did the surgery. They had to remove a rib to get to the cancer. Along with about a 4 inch incision, (Which now days is much smaller. And recovery is faster)). She was in a lot of pain. There was only so much pain medication they could give you at a period of time. And for awhile it was fine. But the last hour or two. The pain was intense until the next dose.
Even through all the pain. She was determined to get out of the hospital. And back home. To do that she would have to walk so much each day. Plus do breathing treatments 3 times a day to keep the right lung strong. After 6 days had passed. She had passed all the tests. She was ready to go home. Promising to do the treatments. And walk as much as possible when she went home.
Coming Home!
Finally she was coming home. And I can tell you that no one was happier then I was. Dealing with Cancer of a Spouse. Is just as hard on the other spouse. As it is with the one infected with the Cancer. Not in the pain way. But emotionally. In my case. I worked all day and spent most of my nights with her in the hospital. Now we also had 3 small children that had to be taken care of to. Luckily I had a lot of help from her mother. Who would watch the kids while I worked. And then went to the hospital.
Dealing with Cancer Of a spouse
Does not stop after the surgery. Or coming home. Sure this is all great. But after something so traumatic. There is still a lot to do. Nurturing her back to complete health. And doing the little things. Goes along way. Good thing I like to cook on the grill. Because other then that she might of starved to death. Just joking. But true. I would do the cooking and cleaning along with taking care of the laundry. Because she wasn’t able to do any heavy lifting for awhile. So it only made sense for me to do those things. And let her concentrate on getting better.
But I would do it all again. No mater how exhausting it was. If I needed to. Now the task was to get her better and back on her feet. Keeping her comfortable. And up beat. That was the hard part. She was still in some pain from the surgery. But we made sure we walked at night and as much as possible.
After a week at home had passed. She had to have another M.R.I. Just to make sure they got it all. As you could expect. Things were pretty intense that day. The M.R.I. came back negative. They had gotten it all. If she would of been able to. We would of danced in the streets all night long. The doctor said that we were lucky. Because of them being able to catch it so early.
To this day my wife still tells me thank you for saving my life. And making her go to the doctor. And I tell her that I was glad I didn’t listen to her for once. Sh means the world to me.
My Advice To You:
For anyone dealing with Cancer of a spouse. My advice to you is to stay upbeat. Be supportive through it all. And keep your spouse upbeat to. This isn’t easy. But having a mindset that you can beat this. And not thinking this is the end of the world or a death sentence. Is critical. Don’t stop living. Keep doing the things you always have. You might have to do more of the chores. And a little more pampering. But isn’t it all worth it.
I hope that you found this article interesting and helpful. But this is not the end of the story. Round 2 of her battle with Cancer is yet to come. It’s going to raise it’s ugly head again. And I am in the process of writing it in the near future. So stay tuned. If you want to hear more.
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Thank you and God bless.
TIP:
There is one tip I can give you. My wife is not big on medication. So when it comes to managing the pain. Once she got home she started using Alternative Medicines (CBD) to handle the pain. Just wanted to pass that on as an option for you. You can read up on these HERE
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