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Coping with Cancer. Especially with a loved one can be difficult at times. Watching your loved one suffer> And not being able to do anything to relieve their pain or discomfort. The constant trips for Chemo. And then the backlash of it afterwards. I have dealt with this with three family members. My mother and Father and also my wife. This story is about my mother and Father. I will have the story about my wife in my next writing. This is how I coped with it. And I hope to help others with what happened. And how we handled it.

Having a loved one with Cancer. Means you need to be able to provide any comfort and support you can. To help your loved one any way you can.

My Father’s Cancer

Coping with Cancer in my fathers case. Was an up and down roller coaster. When they found the cancer it was to late. And if you knew my father. He wasn’t going to spend his days in the hospital. Or let them try things on him that even they didn’t know would work or not.

So the only thing I could do for him was to provide the support and visit him daily. Just be there. Even if it was to watch T.V. and maybe have a short conversation. I worked all day and then spent most of my nights at his apartment. We would watch T.V. (usually the cubbies if they were on or the braves). And have maybe a short 5 minute conversation between naps. This went on like this for about 3 month’s.

The Story Continues

Back to my story. At the end of the 3 month’s we were getting close to Christmas. It was just a few weeks away. One night when I was sitting with my Dad. My sister had called and said she would be coming back for Christmas. That cheered him up. But here is the funny part. He asked me how far away was Christmas? By then we were within about 10 days. He looked at me for a minute and I could see his brain was trying to figure something out. Then it hit him. The Super Bowl is not that far away. I started to chuckle. He leaned over and said. I am not leaving this earth until I see who wins the Super Bowl. We both started laughing.

Now anyone that knows my Dad. Knows that he loves football (both college and pro) And of course the cubs. So I guess it should’t of surprised me. My sister and brother were here for Christmas and he couldn’t of been happier. When we finished with the holidays there was just one more thing he was looking forward to. You guessed it. THE SUPER BOWL.

Time seemed to fly by during the holidays and the day of the big game. And by then my sister had to go back home for work and my brother back to his daily grind. I was fortunate enough that I was able to save my vacation up to the end of the year. So I had a lot of good times with him during that span. His spirits were up and we were having great conversation on most days. And reminiscing about the days when I was still a kid growing up. Happier Times indeed.

The Big Game is Here

Well the big game was here. To my surprise when I got over there. He was all propped up in his chair and ready to watch the game. Now that was unusual because he was usually in his hospice bed most of the time. We laughed and cheered as we watched the game and had a really great time. One that I will remember for the rest of my life. We didn’t care who won. He just didn’t want to miss it.

Shortly after that he began to go downhill quickly. But you know what. I knew that he was OK with it. He had done what he wanted to do. Had beaten the doctors prediction of 3 month’s. And was ready whenever the good lord wanted him. I was of course sorry to lose him. But he went peacefully in his sleep. And I knew he had gone out on his own terms. Which also made me feel more comfortable. I had been able to have a few more special moments to cherish later in my life. Dad I miss you.

My Mother’s Cancer

My mothers Cancer is a little different story then my fathers. Coping with Cancer in my Mother’s case. Had different circumstances and outcomes. In my mother’s case. Her’s has been a battle. Yes she is still with us. She’s a fighter. With her’s it is different in that both the good and bad would raise there head at any time. She has had the Cancer come and go.

It comes and she goes for treatments and then goes into remission. This has now happened a few times. And although you always know that there is a possibility of it coming back. When she goes into remission for a few month’s. You let your guard down. Thinking that everything is going to be fine and it’s not coming back. And then it rears it’s ugly head again. And all the worries all come back again and the process starts all over again.

As for us kids. Yes it’s an emotional roller coaster. But it’s better then the alternative. And we will deal with it. I can happily say that as of this writing. She has been in full remission now for almost a year. (longest time ever) And we couldn’t be happier. We have a lot of memories still to make.

Important Notes for Cancer Victim’s

• If you have Cancer. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
• Try and stay as upbeat as possible. Don’t let it get you down. FIGHT-FIGHT-FIGHT.
• Take advantage of the good days. And try and minimize the bad ones.
• New cures are always possible with Cancer. So predictability of time is never a constant.

NOTES FOR FAMILY MEMBERS

Coping with Cancer. In my experience with dealing with both family members and friends with Cancer. In my opinion this is what helps best.

• Be or form a support group. Gather family members together and work out a way for someone to be with them as much as possible. The worst thing that can happen is for them to be left alone for long periods of time. Only leads them to them getting down and depressed.
• Don’t take No for an answer. A lot of times. Cancer victims will feel like they are a burden and will not want to take up your time. ( I know because I have been through it) Don’t let them tell you no you don’t need to. Just say yes.
• On the good days. Go out and do something. A lot of Cancer victims feel like they can’t do things. Show them they are wrong. Even if it is so simple as going outside on the patio or porch and having a cup of coffee or tea. Or invite friends over for lunch and conversation. You will be surprised at the change that makes.
• Don’t let them feel like they are wasting your time. Or worse fell worthless. This is common with chemo victims. Because of the way it wears down the body. Thus they don’t have the energy sometimes. So they will give up. My favorite saying when they say something like this is. You were always there for me when I was growing up. Now let me return the favor for you. ( That tends to ease them back a little)
• This is going to be tough at times. But you will be glad. And they will be happy when the time arrives or they get better. Don’t forget to ask for help to if you need it.

IN CLOSING

I want to take this time to thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to read this. This is a very passionate thing of mine. I will be writing more articles in the future. I hope that it help’s as many people as possible.

Coping with Cancer can be a tough road for everyone involved. But if you stick together. Share your Love and Faith with each other. Life can be a lot easier. Thank you and God Bless.

If you would like to see more articles as they come out. About Coping with Cancer. I would be happy to send them to you. Simply register on the right. And as soon as I write my next article (soon) I will get it out to you. Also fill free to comment.

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